


Till the Stars Evaporate

by Esdeem



Category: Sword Art Online (Anime & Manga), ソードアート・オンライン - 川原礫 | Sword Art Online - Kawahara Reki
Genre: Cuddling, F/F, Loss, Support, Valentine's Day, YuuAsu, Yuukisuna, coping with loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:41:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29456919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esdeem/pseuds/Esdeem
Summary: Though she's been discharged from the hospital, Yuuki is haunted by a persistent nightmare and questions that haunt her as she starts a new life with Asuna. Part of the Recovery Universe stories, and a one draft short piece for Valentine's Day.  (Note: This story deals with loss and survivor's guilt.)
Relationships: Konno Yuuki | Yuuki/Yuuki Asuna | Asuna
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7
Collections: The Recovery Universe





	Till the Stars Evaporate

It's the same nightmare every time.

Details vary, of course. Sometimes she's with the other members of her guild. Jun is bantering back and forth with Tecchi, Nori is threatening to attack both of them if they don't shut up, which leads Talken to play peacekeeper. Siune, as always, shakes her head and tries to hide the fact she's laughing at it all. Other times she's with Asuna, sometimes alone and sometimes with her group of friends.

The worst is like today when she's walking beside Ran, Merida, and Clovis.

It always feels different with them. They still talk, but every so often, before _it_ happens, she catches them looking at her. It's a disapproving look, with barely contained fury behind their eyes. As though she's let the three of them down. And perhaps she has. After all, the three of them have been waiting for her.

Whatever the lead-up, it always ends the same. It begins with the corridor in front of them exploding in flame. From the inferno, a monster emerges, clad in a flaming red robe. Its face is a charred skull, in its bony hands a massive flaming scythe.

“Reclaimed,” it rasps, inching forward.

With a wave of its scythe, whoever stands beside her turns to ash.

“Reclaimed.”

And the reaper draws closer. She feels the heat on her skin as a skeletal hand reaches for her.

“Reclaimed...”

She awakes in an ocean of darkness, crying out as her body thrashes. She feels the fire as it creeps across her skin. She imagines the bony hand grabbing one ankle, dragging her back toward the fiery pit it burst from. She clutches the ground beneath her, clinging for dear life.

Then a hand touches her shoulder.

The fire is extinguished.

The nightmare fades.

“Yuuki.” Her voice sounds more beautiful than any song.

“S-sorry,” is all she can manage at first.

“You don't have to apologize.” Her lips brush against her girlfriend's forehead. “That dream again?”

“Yeah.”

Fingers stroke the side of her face, work through her hair. Yuuki leans against Asuna, head pressed against her chest to listen to the steady rhythm of her heart, the gentle rise and fall of her breath.

“You want the cam?” she whispers.

“No.” Yuuki shudders. “Just to be with you.”

“Of course.”

The nightmares began a few weeks after she'd been discharged from the hospital. With her mother's blessing, Asuna moved into Yuuki's home.  _Hers_ . It still felt strange to think of it that way. The echoes of Mama, Papa, and Aiko lingered, recalled by the smallest things: A chip on a door frame from when Papa moved in the new bed, the paint that covered where the sisters drew on the wall as children, a needle from Mama's cross-stitch in the corner of the closet.

“Why am I still here?”

She hadn't meant to speak the question aloud. Silence hangs in the air for only a few seconds before Asuna wraps her into a tight hug.

“Because I need you,” she whispers. “Because I'd be lost without you.”

“But... you're so much stronger than me.”

“You're stronger than you know, Yuuki.” Asuna's hand slides across Yuuki's, weaving their fingers together. “And if we've learned anything the last year, we're even stronger together.”

For a few minutes, Yuuki is content with the warmth of Asuna's body close to her own, the softness of her fingertips, the sound of their breathing.

“I miss them.”

Asuna tightens the hug.

“I always thought, after I lost Aiko, it'd only be a matter of time before... before I joined her, and Mama and Papa too. And Merida and Clovis. And even though that scared me, sometimes I... I almost looked forward to it. I wanted to see them all again.”

At first, Asuna says nothing as Yuuki fights back tears.

“You told me once that you all made the Sleeping Knights because you wanted to see as much of the virtual world as you could, right?”

“...yeah.”

“Then you have to keep pressing forward. To see more of the virtual world, and to see how far you can go.” Asuna kisses the top of her head. “That way, when you see them all again, you can tell them about all the places you've been, and all the adventures you've had.”

“And the amazing people I've met.” Yuuki sniffles, unaware until that moment that she had started crying. “One of whom I want to join me on every one of those adventures.”

“You're not going to be able to get rid of me any time soon, Yuu.”

“Good.” She nuzzles into Asuna's neck, letting out a contented sigh. “How did I meet someone as amazing as you, anyway?”

“I seem to recall you kicked my butt in a duel.”

“Oh. Right.”

Silence again, at least for a second.

“Hey, Yuu?”

“Yeah?”

“It's after midnight. So... Happy Valentine's Day.”

She couldn't help but notice that Asuna's heart beat faster as she said the words, her breath quickening.

“Can I... can I give you your present now?” Her voice wavers. “I think maybe it could... help with the nightmares a little.”

“Um, well... sure.”

And for a few seconds, Asuna pulls away, only to return a moment later.

“I, um, I wrote a whole thing. But I'm too nervous to read it.”

“You don't have to be nervous around me, Asuna.”

“I know, but... this is... different.”

“Different?”

“It's about something you asked me not long after we first met.”

Yuuki searches her memory, trying to recall what Asuna might mean. Joining the Sleeping Knights? A rematch of their duel?

But then Asuna takes her hand. Something cold slips over one finger.

Yuuki's heart almost leaps out of her chest.

“Yes,” Asuna says. “The answer is yes.”

Yuuki doesn't give a reply, at least not in words.

The kiss says everything.

**Author's Note:**

> Due to a lot of the anxiety I've had with writing, I decided to try and just write a one draft story dealing with Valentine's Day. While I originally imagined it to be a short fluffy piece, it ended up dealing a lot more with some of the issues I've been grappling with myself over the past few months. 
> 
> Nothing summarizes what I've been dealing with lately quite so well as the fact I've rewritten this note about a dozen times now, uncertain how much or how little to share. Long story short, the last few months have been riddled with anxiety and depression and it reached a point where (among other things) I legitimately thought I wasn't going to write anymore. Writing stopped being fun and became an ouroboros of self doubt. Writing this piece wasn't a cure all. To be frank, I couldn't tell you at this point if I'm going to write anything more after this. 
> 
> With the story itself, one consequence of the Recovery stories that always nagged at me was the fact that Yuuki survives after losing the rest of her family. When I sat down, the opening with the nightmare popped into my head and I rolled with it. And, since I'm still uncertain if I'll ever go back to writing any more of these stories, I wanted to give a little bit of closure in at least one set of stories. Still, I resisted the urge to have a postscript where the nightmares went away. If life's taught me anything recently, things don't always work out so neatly. 
> 
> All that said, just in case this really is the last story I write with Asuna and Yuuki, I want to thank everyone for all the kind words. It's really meant a lot.


End file.
